Fighting with your Spouse
Fighting and arguing between spouses is common with any couple who are in a close relationship. At the same time, the hurtful things said to each other during arguments can destroy relationships. It is so easy to get into an argument and at the end, it all seems so silly. Sometimes, couples end up fighting over things that don’t even matter and lose out on good times altogether.
Nevertheless, it is important that both sides make some ground rules to end or resolve those heated arguments when they arise. Here are some of things I believe all couples should keep in mind when in an argument.
First, be honest about the situation and take the time to listen to the other person rather than doing all the talking yourself. In other words, listening can be the key factor in resolving the issue.
Secondly, put yourself in the other person’s shoes instead of staying focused on your point of view. Refrain from making the situation more intense, take time out and be alone for some time.
Thirdly, when you are at fault, admit your mistake rather than pointing fingers at each other. For example, when Adam ate the apple he blamed Eve for giving it to him and Eve blamed the snake. In this case, no one wants to take responsibility for their actions. You must learn to take responsibility for your actions rather than blaming someone else for the choices you make. Simultaneously, admitting your mistake in an argument puts you ahead of the problem, helping you to mitigate it.
Finally, assume your spouse wants to be happy when the argument dies down. Try to get close to each other by hugging or by saying nice things to each other. Sometimes words can work as a healing balm. Even if it is as simple as “I Love you.”
Practical Hatred
April 13, 2009
Wouldn’t it be funny if we were to gauge ourselves to see if we hate anyone? If this question was posed to someone, the answer most of the time would be “No, I don’t hate anyone.” But do you know the real truth is that we all hate in one way or another. Sometimes, it is the way we react to things right away, emotional feelings, or even holding back in our expressions.
I was reading the other day and came across some reading material one of my good friends gave me on things God hates. I was shocked to think that even God would hate anything because I always thought of God as a loving and forgiving God. The further I read, the more I felt a release in my heart knowing that it is acceptable to hate some things. In the following, I present some of the examples to sum up the core of it.
First thing God hates is pride, because Proverbs 11:2 when pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Secondly, God hates a lying tongue, because good relationships cannot be built without honesty. Thirdly, God hates the feet that are quick to rush into evil, because Proverbs 29:11) “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”
Often, we end up hating the person who commits these transgressions rather than the offenses. As I said earlier, we are all guilty and most of the time we don’t even realize that we are in the hate mode because we are so used to it. We must recognize these instances to become a better person. It will not only do good to ourselves but will inspire others to do the same. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “the change must begin with you.” Let us together stop any hatred toward people and make a change by despising the impure things even God abominates.
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